| It was tonight, four years ago that I sat, most likely at a computer as I am now, thinking about how I was going to get through the next four years at Cedarville University. While I can't think back to that exact day, I can think about how my perceptions and emotions have changed in regards to my time at Cedarville. At the time I was so excited to begin my matriculation at Cedarville, that waves of doubt hadn't even begin to creep their way into my mind. I had no idea what I wanted to do, who I wanted to do it with, or how I was going to do it. Fortunately, the majority of those questions have been answered. The traditional adjustment period at college for new freshman was made easier by the fact that my brother was my roommate. It was something which I am ever thankful for until this day. While at the time, I didn't fully grasp how important it was, I can now look back and be thankful for the opportunity to get to know him better, and enjoy the time we had together. Rooming with him wasn't a cure-all to freshman insecurity though, as he was often busy working on athletic-training related activities, I still hadn't met very many people, as I lived in an upper-classmen dorm. I did meet a select few friends with whom I would remain close to throughout my years at Cedarville and hopefully on into the future. I have so many fond memories of McChesney 209, where I spent 3 years, it would be tough to pick out a defining memory that would capture the years at Cedarville. I can say, however, that I thoroughly regret my decision to move off campus my senior semester (I only went 3 and a half years). Despite the fact that my roommates were subpar off campus, the fact that I was so separated from my best friends my senior year is something I regret. I don't know how I would do things differently, as my options led me to no better alternative than moving off campus, but perhaps something could have been done. Tomorrow I will go to work, and enjoy a great job which God blessed me with. I will come home to my amazing wife, of whom I can't say enough good things. All of these have been afforded me by my experiences at Cedarville. While it is not a perfect school, it provided me with things I can only say are gifts from God. As I think of all the freshman starting at Cedarville now, it makes me sad, and happy to know that I will never be one again. All the great experiences I had, make me regret the ones I could have had, and chose not to. They also make me grateful for the ones I had, and cannot lose. I wish I had another opportunity to come from chapel and go to Chucks with my friends. I wish I could sit in class and listen to some more lectures. I wish I could play Counter-Strike with my friends again. There are so many things I wish I could do again, but would not replace what I have now to get a chance to repeat what I've already done. I guess that's the amazing thing about time. You look back, and wish you could do again what you've already done. However, memory has a funny way of washing away the desires you had in the past. The funny thing was, back then you were wishing to be where you are now, and now you are wishing to be where you were, and where you will be. It's time that provides us a medium to get to where we want to be, but it prevents us from going back to where we were. If I could say anything to myself four years ago, it would be to enjoy my time at Cedarville. Make no enemies if it can be avoided, but be friends only with those whose friendship is worth having. Enjoy your years at Cedarville, as they will be the best of your life, but be thankful that there is only four of them, because life will continue to evolve in a way that is an ever-present reminder of God's continued grace in your life. I'm sure there are many from my class that have had similar feelings over the past couple months, or will have them in the upcoming ones. I, for one, regret few things about my time at Cedarville that I could have changed, and that is one thing that I am thankful for, but it is far from the greatest thing I am thankful for. While I have some envy for those of my friends who get to go back to Cedarville for another year, or semester, whatever the case may be; I think back to my last months at Cedarville and how excited I was to be done, and think to myself, "Don't wish your life away, because those times you are wishing away are times you can never get back." Be grateful for every moment God has blessed you with on this earth. God instructs us to give thanks in everything, no matter what the circumstances, and the apostle Paul describes how no matter what his circumstances were, he had learned to be content. If you can't find anything in your life to be grateful for, be grateful for what you've had, and what you will have, because no matter how insignificant it may seem, it is far better than any of us deserve. |
